There is no way to Happiness...Time to Reset the GPS Baby!
As far as back as I could remember I knew that I had my life figured all out. My child-like mind knew at its core that the toy of the moment, the food in front of me, the ice-cream to come, and the daily hugs all made me Happy- and no one could tell me otherwise. Most importantly my toddler brain also knew that I needed to do whatever was necessary to get to my Happy Place.
I have always had a toddler in me who believes she can fly with a special super hero cape and nothing else but the wind beneath her wings. I knew that getting "Happy" was the goal. So I told the navigation system of life to"Take me to the Happy Place". I then bravely ventured out into the world determined to get there.
Some years later after fumbling my way through life and falling flat on my face, I found myself looking back wondering if maybe I had missed something. I had gone through many despairing moments, heart break, disappointments, and rejection early on in life. And while I had also acquired many Happy Moments - they were not as fulfilling or long lasting. I needed to know why I had not yet arrived at my Happy Place.
The more I shared with people and they shared with me, it became apparent that many of us are looking for it-trying to get to that Happy Place that we believe exists outside ourselves. Some of us consciously know we are looking for it and others are looking for it and don't even realize it. We look for it in relationships, in food, in sex, in medication (legal and otherwise), in jobs, in social media"likes", in approval, in our salaries, in the number of friends we have whether in human form or digital, and even in the number of possessions we own.
I spent my whole life looking outside myself for ways to GET TO HAPPY through people, places, and situations. As if once I had those things in place- I would have arrived. I imagined that my life would be complete and I would skip down the street like a character straight out of a Broadway Musical. I suspect that my child-like mind was looking for her happy ending again.
But here's the thing- no matter how breath taking these experiences were-- they all had one thing in common...they were short lived. None were permanent and that is quite alright. I realized that they were never meant to bring ME happiness. I was meant to bring MY Happiness to the experience of Life.
Chasing happiness is like chasing air. I already have all the air I will ever need. And if I chase it, thinking that I am running out of it, I actually deprive myself of something I already have access to.
Yet, if I am still, my body breathes in all the air I need to thrive. And to top it off, I don't even have to do anything to make that happen. My body is being breathed for me and it doesn't require my assistance to do so other than to relax and allow.
I have reconciled my toddler mind and my adult self. I have decided to reset my GPS- the destination is no longer "Take me to the Happy Place". I have chosen to "BE the Happy Place" no matter where I end up on the road of Life.
The peace that fills me now is indescribable. The moments of happiness I experience are not in response to feelings of lack. They are enjoyed as moments of time and space that are as temporary as those of pain and anguish. All part of the journey but no longer the answer to any burning question.
Re-setting my internal GPS helped me re-set my life. And while my inner toddler is not running the whole show anymore, I still keep her super hero cape in my closet. You never know when I may need to dust it off and fly at a moment's notice. I figured it's best to be prepared for all possibilities.